Exploring Dependence – The God of Coincidences?

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It’s one thing to read about the people of Israel receiving God’s direction through the cloud and the pillar of fire (Numbers 9:15-23). It is quite another to know what that might mean for us today. Do we have a cloud or a pillar of fire to consult? How do we know what we should do?

Recently, I came across Lisa Whelchel’s story (the actress who played “Blair” on Facts of Life in the 80’s) of how she came to the conclusion that God wanted her to marry a man for whom she had no romantic feelings. 

The short version?

A series of circumstances — at one point she calls them coincidences — convinced her that she should to submit to God’s leading and marry Steve Cauble.

Some of the circumstances?

  • During a time of worship, a question popped into her head – “Would you ever consider marrying Steve Cauble?” Later that same night, Steve asked her the same question. Coincidence or God’s leading?
  • The engagement ring she wanted was so unique that she had never actually seen one. She had only envisioned it in her mind. She was sure that it would have to be created by some high-end jeweler. Yet Steve took her to a mall jeweler who had the exact ring she had envisioned. Again, coincidence or God’s leading?

She shared the story in a book she published in 2001. At the time, they had been married about 13 years, and, in the article, she was “thankful that she waited to follow the Good Shepherd’s voice to find the man [she] was supposed to marry.” But, 11 years later, in March of 2012, their divorce became final.

As I read Lisa’s story, I hear a woman who was earnestly seeking God’s leading, and who completely abandoned her own agenda to follow Him. Yet, even in this area where she was trying to follow His leading, she ended up divorced. Clearly, from the testimony of Scripture, this result is not God’s will. Which raises a question – were those circumstances she trusted really God’s leading?

Now, let me pause here to make a point, especially for those who may be in difficult marriages and wondering if they married the wrong person. Whatever God’s leading before the ceremony, once you are married, God’s will is for you to remain married, honoring your commitment to your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1-24). That doesn’t mean you won’t end up divorced, since your spouse may be unwilling to honor their commitment to you. But for your part, His will is that you remain married.

My point in sharing Lisa’s story is this. Her pursuit of God’s leading took her on a journey through some very difficult places, and ended in bitter disappointment. As I read her story, I see a heavy reliance on circumstances. She trusted those circumstances as reliable indicators of God’s will. I mean no criticism here. She was simply following a process she had seen modeled and taught – a process that seems pretty common among Christians I have encountered. Her determination to submit to God’s leading is noteworthy. But how reliable is this process that is trusted by so many Christians? How much should we expect God to guide us through circumstances?

Something happens, and we try to interpret it as some kind of sign from God. A disaster hits. Is it a sign of God’s judgment? An opportunity arises. Is God “opening a door?” Another possibility goes away. Does that mean God “closed the door?”

To be sure, in Scripture we find God active in the Story. He does judge with disastrous consequences. Sodom and Gomorrah are wiped off the map. He “opens a door” in the Red Sea through which Israel is able to escape the onslaught of the Egyptian army.

But does that mean that every dramatic event is God’s judgment? Every opportunity that arises a door opened by God? Every opportunity that doesn’t materialize a door closed by God?

No. Examples are abundant to prove otherwise. Job’s disasters were not God’s judgment.

Bathsheba’s presence on the roof that day was not an “open door”. God did not provide that opportunity because He wanted David to commit adultery with her.

And the opportunity afforded by the presence of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden was not an indication that God really wanted Adam and Eve to eat from it.

How do we know these things? Because we have specific communication from God to guide us in interpreting these individual circumstances.

Likewise, as look for His guidance in our lives today, we must not rest too heavily on circumstances. We must be looking for specific communication from Him.

Which raises the next question. What forms will such specific communication take? We’ll look at that next.