Ever feel like God is ignoring you? Like your prayers are just dripping off the ceiling?
Have you ever prayed for days, weeks, months, even years for something that seemed really critical, and still God didn’t seem to come through?
Probably all of us have.
After seminary we moved to Colorado to pastor a church. Although we persistently prayed for our house in Fort Worth to sell, it didn’t. Dad had to take over payments, and it was a couple of years before he was able to sell it. When he finally did, it was at a loss.
How do we reconcile this with the promise, “For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.” (Luke 11:10)?
This verse is a continuation of Jesus’ instruction to the disciples on prayer. We began to look at this instruction in the last article.
In verses 2-4, He gave them what we call “The Lord’s Prayer” — Come to God as your Father. Make His agenda your priority – that His name be venerated, and that His Kingdom would come. And then, as an expression of your dependence, ask Him for three things: provision for what you need for the coming day, for forgiveness, and for guidance in the way you should go.
But, although we typically stop there, Jesus isn’t finished with His explanation.
He continues with a hypothetical situation:
“Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs.” Luke 11:5-8 NAS95
This hypothetical situation turns around the friend’s initial unwillingness to get up in the middle of the night and give his friend what he needs. In spite of that initial unwillingness, he ends up granting the request.
Why?
In this version (along with the NET and NKJV) it is attributed to his persistence. The NIV has boldness. Indeed, the action that produced the change seems to be the unwillingness of the friend in need to take “no” for an answer. But the Greek word used means shamelessness.
In that culture, hospitality was highly valued. Having nothing to offer a friend who arrived unexpectedly would have been shameful. But if they were a good friend, perhaps they wouldn’t tell anyone else. Asking a second friend for help would mean exposing your shame to another individual. Having to do so in the middle of the night and wake his entire household would have exposed your shame to the whole household, and possibly the neighbors. Having to persist in the request makes it all even worse.
So, while the actions of the friend in need my have reflected a certain persistence, Jesus’ word-choice indicates that He was probably addressing the heart attitude behind it – a shamelessness – a willingness to set one’s pride aside and ask for what he needs.
Jesus’ application fits well with this understanding:
“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.” Luke 11:9-10 NAS95
Note that He doesn’t say, “Ask, and if you don’t get it, seek, and if you still don’t get it, knock,” as if persistence is the point. In each case, regardless of the intensity we may see in the manner of petition, Jesus promises the request will be granted. The point is simply that we should come to the Father and ask.
Which brings us back to our original question — How do we account for the fact that we ask God for things that we don’t get?
Let me suggest that the biggest problem is that we rip verses 5-10 completely out of context and treat them as if they are a blank check for fulfilling our agenda. Which is absolutely illegitimate.
Jesus did not offer this as a blank check. As we have already observed, Jesus didn’t present prayer as a mechanical endeavor — as if it was about learning to push the right buttons and turn the right nobs to the proper settings in order to get what we want from God. Instead, it’s about a heart that is oriented to God’s agenda, perpetually dependent on Him for provision, forgiveness, and guidance.
These are the things promised — provision, forgiveness, guidance. Not that we will get anything we might request, if we bow our heads and close our eyes.
Ok. But He did promise provision. What about people who have prayed for a job for months?
Jesus didn’t promise a job. He promised that if we ask God to provide for our needs one day at a time, He will grant that request. Just because God often provides for those needs through a job doesn’t mean He will always provide that way. Maybe He wants to provide through the generosity of other believers for a while. Or maybe He wants us to learn that daily dependence. Or… well, we’ll have to wait and see. One day at a time.
Let’s go back to the house that we prayed would sell…
Did our prayers fail? Did the Father let us down?
Nope. Although, at the time, it felt like it. But as I look back, I see things much differently now.
Early in the search process, I had come across a study that examined a pastor’s relationship with his congregation. It found that typically, when things got rough enough for the pastor to leave, it was because of a vocal minority. In these situations, on average, only about 17 percent of the congregation opposed the pastor. Therefore, the authors of the study recommended that a pastor not go to a church with less than a 90 percent vote.
I had been praying for God’s guidance in finding where we should serve, and this advice made sense to me, so it became one of my criteria for finding the right place. It also made sense to me that God’s provision would include selling our house in Fort Worth. So, I came to view these as primary indicators of God’s direction.
The first church we had serious discussions with was in Colorado. In ranching country. It was our intense desire to move to Colorado. And the ranching environment seemed like a perfect fit with my conviction that I was supposed wear boots and jeans.
So, we went up for a weekend interview. It went well enough, although there were some things we should probably have looked at more carefully. The following week, the church voted. I don’t remember the exact numbers, but the result was in the low 80-percent range. Although my initial response was to decline their offer, I didn’t do so with much resolve. Even though the vote wasn’t what I thought it should be, and we didn’t even have any serious lookers on the house, I agreed to take the position after a little persuading by the chairman of the search committee.
And we spent the next couple of years praying God would sell the house.
At the time, it felt like the prayers weren’t working. Now, I see it differently.
I had asked for the Father’s guidance, and, I believe, gotten it. Receive a ninety percent vote and have the house sell. Yet I ignored it and took off on my own. It’s no wonder the house didn’t sell. This particular church was not where God was guiding us.
My prayer for the sale of the house did not grow out of the kind of dependence Jesus manifested and taught. In fact, it was an expression of my own independence. I had ignored God and then expected Him to fulfill my request anyway.
While we developed some good friendships there, the there three-and-a-half years we were there were very difficult. Ultimately, I realized that the situation was not a good fit.
Of course God already knew that. But I didn’t listen to Him. I took off on my own. Only He knows what kind of situation He would have led me to if I had just waited. I’m sure it would have been a good fit.
But wait — there’s more. Not only did my decision land me in a difficult situation, but in my independence, I had sinned against God. Yet, I never stopped to ask the Father’s forgiveness. Never even paused long enough to realize what I had done. I was too busy trying to get Him to fulfill my agenda. Oblivious to my sin against the Father, and ignoring the direction He had given me, I somehow expected Him to fulfill my requests.
Unfortunately, this incident was not an anomaly. Many of my prayers seemed to go unanswered. Although I probably wouldn’t have admitted it, I had come to view prayer as a low-percentage proposition. I asked God for a lot of things, He gave me some of them.
Truth be told, I had no idea whether God wanted to give them to me or not. I was operating out of what seemed good to me.
If you’ve been following The Story, you’ll recognize that the problem here is deeper than a low-percentage prayer-life. Way back in the Garden of Eden, the Enemy convinced us that we could decide what is for ourselves what is good and what is not good – that we could be like God, knowing good and evil. That was the essence of the rebellion that brought death into the world.
When we pray out of what we think is good, those prayers are based in this same attitude that got us kicked out of the Garden to begin with. How can we expect God to grant requests grounded in such independence?
When we pray like this, we are not praying like Jesus. In fact, I have to wonder if it can legitimately be called prayer at all.
Jesus’ kind of prayer stands in stark contrast to such bald-faced independence. He instructs us to first re-orient to the Father’s agenda and humble ourselves before Him …
“Father, this is about you and your agenda. As for us, we need Your provision each day. Forgive us where we have ignored your agenda to do what seemed good to us. And, since we’re not sure which paths will ultimately lead us away from you and which will lead us fulfill that agenda, Father guide us in what is good.”
Do you want to claim the promise to receive whatever you ask for, find whatever you seek, and have opened whenever you knock? Begin with the kind of heart reflected in this prayer.
There’s still one more thing Jesus wants us to learn about prayer. We’ll get to it next time.