Exploring Dependence – Provision For My Needs

(Previous Article)

Jesus tells us that we must give up all our own possessions (Luke 14:33).

By that, He means that we must renounce any notion of ownership toward the things we possess. They are resources entrusted to us by God to fund His agenda.

So, what are the funding priorities of this agenda?

In the previous article, we identified four:

    • Provide for my needs, and those of my family
    • Provide for the needs of others within the body
    • Fund Ministry
    • Build relationships with those I can impact spiritually

This week, we’ll unpack the first of these.

Having been in vocational ministry since college, the issue God’s provision has been a focal point for all of my adult life. But my understanding of it was very elementary when I graduated from Bible College in the summer of ’81.

Even at that time, I knew that I was made for non-traditional ministry. Back then, I thought camp ministry was the answer, so I accepted a position at a small start-up camp in Colorado.

I remember telling Kasie, as we drove up to the Front Range of the Rockies, that we were home. This was the place of my dreams, and I was full of hope.

By the time we arrived, camp had already been going for a couple of weeks. Although I was excited about impacting teens, I spent the rest of the camp season serving as the camp handy-man.

At the same time, I was expected to be the Youth Director for a small church being started on the campgrounds. Thus, contrary to expectation, I found myself in the very role I had sought to avoid.

Needless to say, I was disillusioned. Compounding this disillusionment was our compensation. We were provided living quarters. Not only were they small, but occasionally, snow would blow through a crack in the wall, and accumulate on the bathroom sink. To be fair, that didn’t happen all the time, only when it snowed outside.

Then there were our “benefits”. As a way to make ends meet, the camp got some of its provisions through the government food surplus program. As a result, we could take all the butter, cheese, and peanut butter we could eat.

Of course, we were also paid a salary – $75 a week. To provide for a family of three.

So much for the stuff of my dreams.

In the midst of these struggles, I came across Psalm 37. This was one of the first times I remember a passage really speaking to me in a personal way. Verse 25 stood out:

I have been young and now I am old,

Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken

Or his descendants begging bread.

I found comfort in this. God would not forsake me or my family. So, we continued to pursue ministry.

Fast forward – through Seminary and Luke 14:33 – to the the Fall of 2002, when we decided to join the staff of the parachurch ministry I have mentioned. Although we didn’t have any savings, we were debt-free and I was excited about the opportunities that lay ahead.

While I was not looking forward to fund-raising, I was confident Matthew 6:31-34 was true, and God was going to provide for all our needs. All we had to do was step out in faith, and watch Him come through.

Three months later, the $3000 line of credit attached to our checking account was maxed out. And I was confused. We had stepped out in faith. Why were we plunging into debt?

About this time, my daily reading brought me to one of the disciples’ adventures with Jesus (Luke 8:22-25).

Jesus tells them to get in the boat. They are going to the other side of the lake.

On the way across, He falls asleep. A fierce gale descends on the lake. The storm is so bad, Luke says they “… began to be swamped and to be in danger.” The boat was filling up with water. They were on the brink of disaster.

Somehow, Jesus is sleeping through this storm. If you are the disciples, what do you do?

The disciples’ response mirrored the common Christian wisdom I had grown up with – “Take your problems to Jesus.” Clearly, that was the thing to do.

Except Jesus rebukes them for it – “Where is your faith?”

Wait. They shouldn’t have woke Jesus up?

Nope. They should have ridden out the storm, trusting that they would get to the other side, just like He said.

Wow.

So, my faith was not supposed to keep me out of desperate situations. My faith was supposed to carry me through them. My faith needed to handle a boat full of water.

As it turned out, I was going to need this kind of faith. The next three years would prove to be arduous years, filled with adversity.

If I could have seen the storms on the horizon, I would have realized that the water in our financial boat in the Fall of 2002 was minor. It’s amazing how full your boat can get without sinking.

Those years would serve as a bootcamp in trusting God. This bootcamp phase culminated at the end of 2005, when God seemed to ask, “Now that you know what I want you to do, will you pursue it if it costs you your house and your truck?”

We did. And God came through. We passed the test, and finished bootcamp.

But, as we have already observed, the purpose of bootcamp is to prepare you for the battles ahead. In the years since, we have continued to apply the lessons of bootcamp and have continued to grow in our understanding of God’s provision.

What have we learned?

The following lessons stand out –

All biblical truth exists in tension with all other biblical truth. We must resist the temptation to isolate these truths, as if they each stand alone. God’s promise to provide is clarified and balanced by other promises and warnings.

    • Some clarification can be found in taking a closer look at the passages in which the promise of provision are found. If we are going to claim the promise, we must include all of the passage. E.g.,
      • Matthew 6:31-34 – We are indeed promised that God will provide the food, drink and clothing we need. However, that promise has a condition.  You must abandon the pursuit of these things and make the Kingdom of God your priority pursuit. If you are not doing that, you have no claim on that promise.
      • Psalm 37:23-29 – Yep. In verse 25, David says that, as a man who has lived long, he has never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging for bread. But before that, in verses 23-24, he says “… when he [the righteous man] falls…”. Not if, but when. God’s hold on his hand will not keep him from falling. It will keep him from being hurled headlong, but he will fall. Walking with God will not keep us from difficulties, it will keep us from being taken out by them.
    • More clarification can be found by looking at other passages that shed light on God’s provision in the lives of other godly people. E.g.,
      • Philippians 4:10-19 – In the same passage where Paul promises that God will supply “all our needs”, he says that he has learned to be content in all circumstances. These circumstances include being hungry, suffering need, and experiencing affliction. If Paul experienced need, I shouldn’t be surprised if I do as well. That doesn’t mean that God won’t ultimately fulfill my need, only that His timing and methods may be different than what I expect.
    • These promises are balanced by the tension of other biblical truths.
      • 1 Peter 1:6-7 – Contrary to popular notions, faith does not keep us from distressing situations. Quite the opposite, such distress tests our faith, and proves the quality of it. We should not be surprised by the disciples’ experience with the boat full of water. Nor should we be surprised if our faith is tested by financial need.
      • Hebrews 11:13-16 – Our ultimate hope is found beyond this earthly existence. Complete fulfillment of the promises will be found there. This perspective gave Paul the confidence that he would, indeed, be released from prison, either through life, or through death. For Paul, death was a legitimate means of deliverance from his imprisonment (Philippians 1:19-20). When we apply this truth to the issue of provision for our needs, we recognize that our greatest need is not to be sustained indefinitely in this existence, but to be delivered from it. Thus, as the writer of Hebrews continues in chapter 11, we find some of the heroes of the faith who “… went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute…” (Hebrews 11:37).
      • Hebrews 12:4-11 – Continuing on in Hebrews, we are reminded that God disciplines His true children. So, I should not be surprised if God withholds provision when I strike out in my own direction, independent of His leading. In fact, I should expect Him to discipline me to bring me back to Him. If He did not, I would probably become comfortable in my disobedience and stay there.

Navigating all of this requires a growing knowledge of God and His Story. Resting on a familiarity of isolated passages, biblical principles, or theological concepts is not enough.

    • My understanding of the Story continues to grow. It is in this growth that I have come to recognize the kind of clarifications and tensions shared here. It is in this growth that I have understood what the Kingdom is, and how I am to pursue it. But I can see that there is much more to learn.
    • The Story is the context for my walk with God. This relationship with Him is critical. Without it, I cannot understand His truths, nor can I experience His leading. And without that leading, I’m just guessing at what His agenda might be, hoping for the best. Without His leading, I don’t have any way of sensing whether the difficulties I am experiencing are a test of my faith, or God’s discipline, to bring me back to Him.

 

Today, God continues to provide for our needs. The provision tends to come month-to-month. During all of this, He has provided for the weddings of my two daughters – weddings that were all I ever hoped they would be. While we have no yet gotten the water out of the boat, we have never been forsaken. Kasie and I both sense God telling us not to worry about it right now. So, we continue to live into the lessons begun in bootcamp